Monday, April 28, 2014

Vacated / Vacation

I have not blogged for a long while again....I am starting to notice a pattern....this seems to be an annual thing.  I have been dormant in the blogaspere but my life has been anything but.

Hi.  My name is Donna and I am addicted to busyness.  Life has been on HUGE wave of late.  And I volunteered to ride it.  The busyness keeps me from really showing up and doing the big scarey things in my life that are truthful expressions of me.  I am basically afraid to be me.  Afraid to be the fully expressed version of myself.  I joke with my special friends that I vacate my body on a regular basis and the shell of me remains to be shared in a half-hearted way in my life.  It looks like I am there because I am busy doing many things and juggling many balls.

BUT, and it is a big but, I have vacated.

To be fully present and feeling ALIVE! I must first show up.  And then express myself.  Even when its scarey...and probably BECAUSE I am scared its even more important that I am present and fully express myself.  Brene Brown said that courage feels like you are brave and afraid at the same time.

I am afraid to take myself to the next level of expression AND I am afraid to be fully seen.  By new people.  I feel safe within the community of safe people.  People that know and love me as I am.

So as my first act of showing up and being seen....here I am posting my first blog in a while....in an attempt to express myself.  To come back from my VACATION....so to speak!


2 comments:

  1. Good to have you back ;) xxx

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  2. Sorry to hear you have been living in this vacated state. It makes me a little sad - and it is not a foreign state to me. I have full faith that you will get there, being fully you, with old and with new friends. xxx

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