Thursday, April 25, 2013

Child Worship

"Parents, please don't worship your children.  No child is capable of receiving your undivided attention.  it will scorch the child and damage the relationship.

The pressure of the orientation of your entire life around him or her will prove too much for you all to handle - and your love will transform into control, and your efforts to control will backfire.

No matter how deeply you love your child, he or she is going to resist being the focus of your life.

If you are very lucky, when the child brings a necessary shift, he or she will do so kindly.  Usually such shifts are far from pretty.  You were designed for much more than parenthood.  While it is a calling, it is not your only one, or the most important calling you have.

The sooner you focus on your other callings the better parent you are likely to become.

Child-worship has another extraordinary implication  the child expects all adults to offer similar attention and can often get peeved when these adults fail to deliver.

Let to.  Allow yourself to be free of the constant pressure to be at your child's beck and call - it serves no one well. "


John gave me this article to read the other day.  He had saved it from The Mercury newspaper (Friday, April 5, 2013)  Its written by Rod Smith from his column (which is a very worthwhile read) You and I.  Rod is a family therapist in the US and can be e-mailed at rod@difficultrelationships.com .



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