The more I do this kind of work, the more I realise that Life is about how you feel whilst doing everything else. This emotional subtext is actually the star of the show, not some understudy waiting for its moment in the spotlight. It IS what is important.
All other actions are a means to feeling better; all other possessions are tools to get us feeling better... feeling good about ourselves and our lives. Even religion doesn't escape this model. All religions are the bodies or structures that is the road to our journey of feeling good...loved, heard, satisfied, fulfilled, happy, joyful, stimulated, peaceful, etc.
Our bodies are the same : they are the vehicle in which we ride on our journey of experiencing "feeling good". The mystery surrounding religion, and even the workings of our bodies is secondary to the WONDER, the MIRACLE of feeling good. THAT is the great mystery of life : how to...feel good.
I feel like this bit of clarity unlocks a lot of pockets of suffering for me. STRUGGLE. I am done with struggle. I want to feel good! That is where my attention will be. And I am not talking about superficial feelings of goodness! I have tried and tested the road of "good girl", religious girl, spiritual girl, thin girl, beautiful girl, clever girl, demure socially-acceptable girl, top-of-the-class girl, let-me-please-you girl, let-me-give-you-more-than-I-give-myself girl. I am done. Those roads are short-term highs and feeling good this way is fleeting and the high is never as good as the first time, anyway. These are drugs offered to us by society to seduce us off the real road, the True Path of truly feeling good.
I am talking about really feeling good, where your body, mind, heart and soul vibrates with joy, peace, a sense of connectedness with all beings, a deep groundedness in Life, an channeling of happiness and creativity this IS the God we all speak of in our Holy Books. This is what the Books point towards: a path to feeling good, but we are seduced by the rules, by being good and not feeling good. There is the temptation to worship the words instead of honoring the feeling of God or feeling good.
So how do I do this? What does it look like in my life? There is no simple answer to fit every miraculous being, I think. You need to inquire what it is for you. For me, it involves daily practice of connecting with my true nature, to God energy and expressing and communing here a little each day. What does that mean exactly I hear you ask? It looks like sitting and breathing for a while, in meditation and prayer; it means daily journalling or writing; it involves yoga and walking; and regular therapy or energy sessions; and of course, group work or circles of wonderful supportive friends. And then the deal-breaker: doing what you are good at doing...what feels good. That is creating, painting, and this work, the work of a life coach and energy therapist. It's what worked for me on my road to recovery and I want to offer that to others from an authentic, open and truthful place, a place that really feels good!