My theme this year, my intention this year is encapsulated in the word: Embody. I wished to embody more of me, more of my life. A lot of me was latent. Wishful thinking. Etherised. Not quite solid. I call it vacating myself. Because literally, I can be there in body, but my mind would be involved in a whole different story, a whole different me, a whole different life. Me, vacated.
I held myself in, in fear of possible rejection. And the fear kept me stuck.
Gently, consistently I have come out of my shell a little more. Workshops. Taking my family to art exhibitions, Andre the Hilarious Hypnotist, coffee shops, chatting more about what is in my head. Sharing myself. And the response has been positive. We laughed at Andre and his hilariously hypnotized volunteers and I felt like me when I took my family to an art expo. It was fun! I feel full. And my workshops give me such deep fulfillment that doing scary stuff like writing, choosing, speaking in public, holding groups, asking for money, receiving money, and much more, has become scary stuff that I just do, again and again. Almost in the background, not the main focus. I need to do this so I can do that. And I desire that so much that I just do this, even though its scary. Get it?
It is thanks also to supportive friends and family and to my whole journey towards this point of fuller expression. Danielle la Porte in her book FireStarter Sessions asks her readers to write down how they would like to feel in their lives. A crazy dump of descriptive words. And then to see a pattern emerge and chose only 3 words out of the bunch. These 3 final words can be set as your daily intention, guiding you when you make decisions. Mine are : Connected, Expressed and Open-hearted. I have written them in my diary and when I need to commit to something, I ask myself : Will this help me to feel connected, expressed and open-hearted? Its really works! It brings clarity. And clarity brings ease and decisiveness to me. Check her out on this video talking about her book: