Today a group of glorious women, whom I am proud to call friends, discussed the many challenges that face our children and what is acceptable for them to experience and what is not. As this was unfolding, I had a movie in my head of a child walking a road barefoot. And as his mother described his particular challenge, I saw him stand on a stone in his road of life and it occurred to me that our jobs as mothers are not to sweep the road of his life clean so no stones will injure his feet! Our commitment, instead, I think, is to stand on the side of the road and cheer them on, echoing back to them a deep belief in their abilities, talents and humanity. So while my children head off to foreign lands of uncharted territory I shall call High School, Boarding School and beyond, I resolve to cheer them on in all their endeavors and sometimes they may need to be held in a love-hug so our hearts connect and feed each other or they may just need a meal or a squeeze of the hand. "I love you, unconditionally", is the message I wish to convey. Not a needy love of a life half lived. But a strong believing love in the life of another beloved being.
I am always tempted to rescue. It is such a strong instinct in me. It is how I have navigated my life since a little girl where I was called "gran" from a tender age because of my worrying about others. I am a born street-sweeper. It is not a good place to be: Worrying. It leads to control issues and perfectionism and "door-matt-ness" and all manner of suffering. I want to love wildly, with absolute belief. In a person's ability to walk their journey EXACTLY as they are meant to, as only they know how to. My interfering (see: sweeping) will not honor them, will not instill trust and faith in them, will not let them feel wholly supported and loved unconditionally.
I want to be a cheerleader, please, Mrs Streetsweeper. (preferably one that looks like this! - kidding!) Or maybe I will be both from time to time, gently sweeping, wildly cheering but loving all along, my child and myself.
Street sweeping is a tough and exhaustive job, and all those who undergo this should be given much credit. It is quite an undertaking, which is why the sweepers have been accompanied by these vast street sweeping vehicles and machines to make the job easier for everyone.
ReplyDeleteHaaker